This morning, I woke at 7AM- later and better than usual, thanks to a 10mg of Ambien at 11PM.  As usual, my situation came crashing down on me but not quite as strongly today.  I’m glad he was blunt with me yesterday and angry and a little mean.  I needed to let go of hope.  It made me feel better.  My new goal is to heal and learn about how to make a marriage successful.  At that point, L might come home, though probably not, and I admit I might not want him by then.  I might have to find someone else to have an amazing marriage with.

Now, I have somewhat of a full day planned.  Cleaning lady coming at 9.  Santa coming into town at 10.  Always praying for clarity and strength.