I guess I’m going to have a break down every day.  My worst part of the day is the afternoon.  Today, I got up from a table of 8 friends at Panera (only Tina and Margaret know everything) and bolted.  I couldn’t get to the car fast enough,  I heard little voices calling, “Bye, JC,” as I flew.  In the car, I did my new favorite thing.  I blasted the radio so loud I couldn’t hear myself think.  It didn’t stop the tears, just the thoughts, which was some relief.  Then I got home and noticed a text from L.  Hope and relief surged through me, to my dismay.  L was unhappy that I went to Pastor R, who then contacted L “out of the blue.” L also wanted to confirm his 6:45 dinner with the boys.

me: Wish you would have have told me before you ruined my life from out of the blue..yes we’re still on, but the Teep has a lot of work to do.  Can’t spend all night at dinner, but if you want, come help him with his notebook.

No, L had no interest in helping with homework, but he would like to see them this weekend.  Of course, just the fun.