Author: jeanbean94 (Page 2 of 3)

For months I’ve been looking forward to my reunion at the University of Richmond. The day finally arrived, and I began my solo journey south. I might have been traveling by myself, but I was never alone. My train ride was filled with conversation with my new friend, Jen, traveling to her own reunion at Georgetown.

The six hour trip flew, and before I knew it, my selfless friends, Zoe and Michelle, were grabbing me at the station despite the sheets of rain that engulfed the car. Soon, I was surrounded by my college girls (and guys, too) at one fun location and event after another, beginning with a mini reunion at Jasmine’s home.

After the Friday night get together, Michelle and I continued on to Zoe’s house to spend the night. Cassandra and Ruby stayed with Jasmine, and Laurel promised to meet us in the morning. Everything was finally coming together because we were all coming together!

Attending a reunion solo gives you the opportunity to relax and reconnect with old friends without worrying about the kids getting bored and swimming across the campus lake. On the other hand, attending choice events with family and partners also looked fun. It was great to catch up with my friends’ spouses and kids, who have melded into our lives through the years.

Jasmine and Zoe, who both call Richmond their home, were the master planners and organizers. They rounded us up via text and email. When they couldn’t reach someone, Jasmine sent snail mail. These girls thought of every detail. Zoe bagged countless blankets to keep us warm Saturday night. Jasmine assembled little goodie bags for everyone, which contained a CD with the top hits of our graduation year and a Westhampton decal…so sweet!

Saturday morning, our campus fun began. Most of us would be spending that second night right on campus. We were prepared to sleep in the dorms and half afraid of random roommate assignments, a la Freshman year, but were pleasantly surprised to receive Gateway Apartment key cards. Our accommodations were spacious, clean, air conditioned, and built well after we graduated. Not that we all don’t fondly remember our senior year…. four of us to each two bedroom townhouse, sharing a single bathroom per residence, like a four sister Brady Bunch… but the Gateways were extra nice. Each contained four little single bedrooms and two bathrooms.

I cannot say enough about our gorgeous campus. In fact, I’ll let my pictures do the “talking”. Biases aside (OK, that’s not possible), none of us have seen a more beautiful college campus anywhere. We reveled in the familiar and approved of the changes as we wandered around together, happy to be home. An unexpectedly sunny day was icing on the cake.

It was a fabulous day from start to finish with a BBQ lunch at our beloved “d-hall”, a class reception on a patio overlooking the lake, and a party for all classes lakeside, complete with a band and fireworks…and churros drizzled with caramel or raspberry and a popcorn bar next to the wine one. Now I’m babbling, but the University was was a truly thoughtful and inspired host.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t cover some reunion essentials/etiquette/pitfalls. Be sure to pack some cute yet comfortable footwear. Your next event might be located a walk across campus. Next, please do not use the words, “nice to meet you”, when interacting with someone wearing the same color ribbon as yourself. That red ribbon means you spent four years at a smallish university with the person. Whether you remember or not, it’s virtually guaranteed you crossed paths…multiple times. Along the same lines, if you have no recollection of attending a formal with someone (yet someone reminds you), do not think it’s a good idea to go over and introduce yourself.

And finally, wear your glasses and don’t forget to rapidly and surreptitiously glance at name tags. At one point I smiled blankly at someone before leaning my over 40 eyes in close to read her tag. A lightning bolt of recognition crossed my face when I realized we lived next door to each other for an entire year. Hey, it happens. But I’m convinced that any moment of awkwardness can be remedied with a hug and a laugh.

It was hard saying goodbye to everyone, but we promised to get together before our next official reunion hits in five years. In the meantime, I’m going to proudly wear my new alumni T-shirt and practice my covert name tag glancing skills…Go Spiders!!!!!

This post is dedicated to our courageous and hilarious friend and fellow Spider, Hendersre.

In the words of Ruby, and only edited to alter names and curse words…”When you’re lucky enough to have had friendships lasting your whole adult life you weather a lot of changes…moves, new jobs, weddings, babies, divorces. But I wasn’t ready to lose someone.

Hendersre was chill to my Type A and silly to my serious, but we shared an intolerance for crap. She was smart, hilarious, and at times weird in the best way. Her life was far harder than it ever should have been, but she’d found her groove in recent years as a single mom and high school teacher. I wish I’d seen her more.

Onward sweet girl. Go find my friend Pritty and be badass angels.”

It’s Sunday and the weather can finally be described as hot here in NJ! After some borderline begging, my oldest son agreed to come along on today’s adventure. Disbelief washed over me followed by euphoria. Was I really pulling off a road trip/activity with all three of my kids? I’ve been working on my poker face and my poker voice for years, now, so, I’m happy to report that I played it cool.

Our destination was an amazing one, anyway. There’s not a kid out there, possessing a modicum of upper body strength, who would complain about spending the day at Dutch Springs. It’s the “getting them there” part that might be the issue….no matter where you’re trying to go with older children, come to think of it.

The boys and I have been vising the Aquapark for years, ever since Momma and Daddy lived in Bethlehem. This destination is a wonderland of giant inflatables, anchored about in the sectioned off area of a quarry. Everyone, regardless of their swimming aptitude, wears a PFD because you can step off the walkways into 50 ft. water.

What can a single parent do when the kids take off? Picture hours to yourself in the fresh air without two loads of laundry calling your name. Experience a splash of fresh, clean water that isn’t hitting you because you’re scrubbing a pot at your kitchen sink. Imagine yourself making a dent in your novel as your new portable sun shelter does its job of preventing wrinkles and “fine lines”.

I saved the best for last. Rent a kayak and hit the water directly behind the kids and more playful adults. I bring my own, a youth model that fits in the Pilot and keeps me afloat, even as it instantly takes on an inch of water when my adult weight hits the seat!

The views of sheer rock faces, woods, and, yes, Bethlehem Steel were fabulous. Relaxation set in as I drifted on the gentle current, spotting my kids in the distance. The water was frigid (it is still spring), but I was only submerged that one inch, and the sun was hot.

I’m grateful to be able to say that this day was a success. We all had fun, avoided sun burn, and made it home safely before the thunderstorm hit. A torrential downpour meant I didn’t have to water the plants. Nothing saved me from the laundry and dishes, though!

After a long, cold winter and rainy, also cold spring, this Memorial Day weekend is a gift to NJ and beyond. Memorial Day is, first and foremost, a day to consciously consider our freedom and thank with all our hearts the brave men and women who defended it.

I’m fortunate to have my kids this long weekend. What does that reality look like when you have older children? It means one boy is down the shore, one is golfing, and one is at the gym. In other words, I had some time to myself this Memorial Day weekend Saturday.

I wonder if other single parents feel the same way about this…I don’t mind spending time alone, a home base for boys who come and go. But, I don’t love being alone when it’s not my parenting time. Just having my kids floating around this weekend makes me happy.

During some of my solo time today, I took a walk through town. I’m so proud and thankful to be raising my boys in this small town that remembers and honors those who fought for our freedom. I passed by our Memorial Park, right in the center of town. The red, white, and “blue” petunias are planted in perfect rows, new, vulnerable, yet growing…just waiting to show off on July 4^th!

In fact, everywhere I looked, flags were flapping and flying, ready for this Monday’s parade.

Welcome summer, my favorite season. And don’t forget that after Monday, it’ll be legal to wear white pants!

I actually enjoyed it, I did. I have no complaints. “It isn’t you; it’s me.” The saga began a little over a year ago when I self consciously moseyed in, on a quest for fitness and strength. I found both. My friend, Tiff, who got credit from the gym in the form of protein smoothies for bringing me into the fold, also became my self-appointed personal trainer. Where left to my own devices I would gravitate toward the arm machines, Tiff had me hardcore lifting free weights. I have no idea who or what to blame for my “thrown out” shoulder that first week.

The yoga was wonderful, and I settled into a routine of attending classes on the weekends I didn’t have boys and hitting the machines, including my favorite, the treadmill, on weekdays. Buying a couple new pairs of yoga pants with cutouts and sheer sides made me feel legit.

Fast forward to a few months into the fantasy. My motivation to get up before 7AM on a weekend morning waned. Tiff and I enjoy lifting chips, slices of spinach and feta pizza, not to mention, wine glasses, more than weights. My gym membership was reduced to a treadmill payment, and I can’t justify paying every month to walk on a treadmill when I can walk outside.

I don’t have anything against gyms. Both my younger boys belong to one and use it just about daily. But for me, right now as the weather warms up, I’m hitting the pavement. I actually have devices in place to ensure I do so… but more about that later.

So now, it’s up to me to get out there. I grab whichever friend or neighbor I can and hit the road…wearing my yoga pants with the cut outs, of course!

To begin with an aside, I’ve always been a good speller (just saying…this single mom doesn’t brag about anything), but, holy cow, words pop up as I get older, and I just can’t get them right. Over and over, I switch letters around or double them, letting spell check do the work. Finally, exasperated, I open a tab and google my word, as in “spell omelette”. OK, terrible example. The American spelling is up there in my title. The one I thought was correct actually is…all over Europe.

Back to the omelet, aka omelette….I tried so hard. And long story short, it was delicious. Here’s what’s going on in this NJ townhouse. The Food Network has been on in the background of my life. I’m not just unloading the dishwasher. Oh no, I’m learning how to sear scallops as I stack plates.

Watching food shows with half an eye for hours at a time makes me want to try a few things in the kitchen. Even though I don’t have the boys this weekend, I feel like we single parents should nontheless eat healthily and well!

Disclaimer: I’m not putting the following out there as an actual recipe. Let’s call it an idea. It’s what hours of ingesting food shows by osmosis inspired me to try.

I cracked two eggs into my favorite copper pan. Then I created a culinary work of art on my egg canvas. I threw down ham, a chopped, fresh tomato, parsley (spellcheck saved me from parsely), and crumbled feta. For good measure and hopefully an instant omelet top, I cracked a third egg on.

It all looked so beautiful and healthy. However, it simply wasn’t cooking, and I’m not personally into raw and undercooked foods. I folded it. The middle still wasn’t firming up. I reopened it, took that spatula, and flipped! (escalating action) Success!… or not, depending on how you look at it. I managed to cook my lunch but absolutely ended up with a scrambled product. As previously stated, it was delicious. The moral of the story is that sometimes throwing ingredients together will result in an unattractive, yet healthy and delicious lunch!

My spring break this year was a little bit different (yet overlapping) and longer than the boys’ break. It has been heaven. My zero gravity lounge in the backyard could really be on any beach in the world when my eyes are closed…until the train barrels by, anyway!

Living in a townhouse actually gets a little claustrophobic for me, especially when the warmer weather arrives. I miss the fun parts about having a yard, which for me include planting, grilling, and just calling some open space on the planet my own. But who am I kidding? Even with my own crew of boys, yard maintenance was well beyond my abilities.

So, I love hitting the sidewalks for good exercise and as a way to expand my environment a bit. It never starts off as easy as that sounds, though! First, I have to get past Baddie, who has been known to make a mad dash for the door, forgetting she has a tail that has to clear it, as well. The simple problem is that if she’s outside when I leave on a walk, she follows me. I figured that out just recently when she peeked out at me from the bushes… that were closer to the grocery store than our home. So back we went.

Today, this town is looking gorgeous. I walked my books to the library and snapped some pics with free hands on the way back. What I see are babbling brooks, blossoming trees, and green open spaces. Yes, this is the Garden State at its finest. Is there really any good reason why Spring Break can’t last forever?

Now back at home, I’m heading outside for some zero gravity in, let’s say, Bermuda. I’ll be there for, oh, approximately 22 minutes, which is when the next train will swoosh by, bringing me home!

It pops up every year… this event, my birthday. Single Parents, I bet many of you have figured out by now that you are solely in charge of the level to which your birthdays are celebrated at home. Especially when the kids were younger, but even now with my boy teens, I’m the shopper and/or maker of presents, dinner, and dessert. As I’m pulling it all off for myself, but really for the sake of normalcy and the benefit of my kids, I’m cleaning the house, driving kids, and, of course, cooking. Decorations? Pffft….

I have to stop here to mention that my amazing friends took me out to lunch on my very day. They were able to do it because I’m on Spring Break this week. On top of everything, the day, itself, was fantastic, warm and sunny. The stars truly aligned, and yes, I’m feeling happy and fortunate.

Lunch took place in between me scrubbing all the floors in the townhouse and a grueling half hour on the treadmill, walking off a full sandwich, bread and all. Maggie and Pippa were at lunch, as well as, my birthday twin, Grace. Liesel ran through on her way to the eye appointment she scheduled like three years ago. Then she sent dilated eye pics to Maggie, providing birthday entertainment.

Back at home later, I luxuriated on my postage stamp patio with a cold drink in my Yeti and my novel. The Bear was at baseball, the Fat Angel at the park. I got up a couple of times to prepare an ice cream pie and to greet my friend and neighbor, Lara, who stopped by with a bottle of wine.

At 7:30 PM, I texted the Teep with my gift request. My text was a sly way of actually reminding him that it was my special day…which falls precisely two days after his own birthday every year, without fail. I would like his gift to me to be him using my gift to him, the expensive DNA test I made sure he had on his birthday. I can’t actually think of another way to get him to spit in that tube.

Single parents, step up, and make your birthdays memorable. Your kids are the only gifts you need. Maybe they can’t pull off the planning, buying, and frosting. Maybe they should be able to, but they just didn’t. Who cares? They’re always learning about celebration and tradition by watching you. You are molding the next generation of top notch birthday planners!

My happiest moment all day was at 8:45PM when both boys were finally home at the same time. I quickly lit the candles (before the Fat Angel ran out the door to XL thirteen minutes later). I blew out four, as in one for each of us, on my strawberry, as in the boys favorite flavor, ice cream pie, and my celebration was complete. I will even display the card the boys gave me of a skunk with a moving tail that reads, “Stinking of You on Your Birthday.” It has the potential of becoming Baddie’s favorite toy…

Stay positive. Put a smile on your face and make things as nice as you can at home. Another holiday as a single parent is here. In this case, it’s Easter, but insert any holiday. They all have the potential to stink. In fact, since divorce, I’ve dreaded just about every holiday. They’re just not the same as they used to be. So, let’s embrace these different creatures and do them up right, single parents! I know well that it can be downright difficult pulling off a holiday with limited time and money. Let’s face it, it’s just not as fun when you’re a solo Santa or E-Bunny. I’ve heard this from many single parent friends. It’s not in vogue to admit out loud that you dread holidays, either.

But, if you’re fortunate enough to have your kids, then it’s time to step up your game. First, prepare when you don’t have them. Your ex has them for dinner every Thursday? Hit the stores. You don’t have to spend a ton of money, but if you start early, you’ll catch every sale. Walgreens runs sales on different holiday items weeks before the day.

I’m a big advocate of wrapping up anything you’d naturally give your kids, starting a few months before the holiday hits. My boys could use some new shorts for the summer. Guess what the Easter Bunny brought?

An aside: You might be thinking, “JC, now you have teenage boys. Enough already.” Yes, I do. And I have no delusions that they don’t know all there is to know about every topic under the sun, since they’ve told me so. But for some reason, Santa insists on delivering their gifts, and rumor has it that the Easter Bunny sneaked into this townhouse last night. You’d be amazed at how nicely teenagers play along when a sweet prize is in sight.

Even if it’s your “off year”, decorate anyway. It’ll help put you in the holiday spirit. Your kids will enjoy the festiveness beforehand and, if you’re like me with only two hands and somewhat limited time, for quite awhile after! (In all fairness, the Christmas tree stayed up extra long because the attic stairs were broken…a renter’s dilemma.) Throw a wreath on your door. Seasonal garden flags are inexpensive and a favorite of mine. Remember, there are other people out there who will benefit from an uplifting sight- friends and neighbors of all ages.

You can do it, Single Moms and Dads!!

Happy Easter, Happy Passover, Happy Spring….

…then use it! Go bigger, why not?. I don’t have room for this set up at home, but maybe you do! I’m fortunate to have this in my classroom, though, which is why I can wholeheartedly recommend it.

So, in February (don’t worry, it’s not too late for you), I brought a bag of potting soil into school. In small groups, students got to fill a cup with soil and choose from maybe 25 seed options. (I’m a seed collector and shameless dead header.) It was up to them to read the planting instructions, tuck their own seeds in, and water. Kids had the best time…they love hands on science, aka making a mess. We studied plants earlier in the year, so they have some knowledge in place. The thing that makes all this fun and learning possible is the SunBlaster system passed on to me this year by another science teacher at my school. It’s wonderful. Seeds were sprouting in no time under its steady, warm glow. This is year three of use with this particular SunBlaster, and its bulbs are still going strong. The system was easily assembled in about 10 minutes by a team of 5^th graders.

Every day, students water their own plants and marvel at the progress of their sprouts. It’s fun to plan for future transplanting to either the school garden or home.

Obviously, you don’t need a classroom to grow with a SunBlaster product. Start your garden early at home. I’ve always found growing things to be a hopeful and renewing experience. Someday, this single mom will discuss how therapeutic I find weeding to be…

The bad news is that it’s super fine and turning gray front and center where my part begins. The good news is that I do have a lot of it! When I first became a single mom, I found myself suddenly the only adult in a busy household. One of my new roles was handyperson. This meant that I had to deal with the clogged drain in my shower because calling a plumber for such a minor, yet highly irritating event, wasn’t in the budget. (What was in the budget?) This also meant that I spent many days taking showers in ankle deep, murky water because although I was using the professional-sized snake I found in my very own garage, unclogging the drain turned out to be a marathon event that required endurance, perseverance, and, well, time. I believe my fascinating drain sagas will be covered in more depth soon as I slowly reveal my story. You’re probably getting the picture that this head can single handedly clog a drain, though. (It was my shower?… haha.)

So, one of the purposes of this blog is to share with you the little things that get me through life. Here’s one of them. It’s called the TubShroom. I discovered it all on my own, too. One reason I purchased it from Amazon is because I needed color options! That little pop of orange on the pseudo beach I’ve created in my bathroom makes me happy.

It’s easy to use. Pop out the regular drain thingy and pop in the TubShroom. Done.

And it works. It’s the absolute best goal keeper ever, truly catching each and every hair that tries to infiltrate my drain. I couldn’t even tell you where that professionalesque snake of mine is, now. And my plumbing skills have been (thankfully) underutilized as of late. This is, of course, because I’m hesitant to tackle the toilet in my bathroom that won’t stop running…hmmm.