Author: jeanbean94 (Page 1 of 3)

I’m completely snowed in.  My neighborhood has an amazing plow service….which deposited at least four feet of drifts at my doorstep.  Doesn’t matter.  I’m in for the day and tomorrow at least.  For me, snow has historically been enjoyed with kids… as in my very own… bundling, dripping, shedding, tracking. (I so miss those days!)  

My kids are a little older now.  I have just one not in college, but he’s not with me.  And why not?  He could be and should be at home.  He’s not because his father chose to have an affair when the boy was five years old.  Yes, it really does always come back to that. XL didn’t care about our boy when he was bed hopping every day of the week.  He didn’t care about this kid when he left him behind on the family room’s shag rug, in hot pursuit of his mistress.  He definitely didn’t care about the boy when he opted out of hours of custody, in favor of starting a new life with his big, bold mistress.     

My unnaturally early (and solo) empty nesting will likely be a recurring topic because it’s happening now and is an absolute injustice.  It’s something in my life and in my son’s, which is wrong, unfair and caused solely by the decisions of a selfish man. 

Of course I’m keeping busy doing my thing.  But honestly, my primary job, which I’m deprived of daily, is parenting.  Today, I created a Valentine’s Day (ummm) decoration for my front window.  I cleaned, cooked, and worked. My boy will reappear this coming weekend, a full two weeks after I saw him last and for a mere three nights.  C’mon do cheaters actually win?  I refuse to believe that… 

As plow headlights flash like lightning through the blinds, I’m thankful for warm shelter, snowed in friends a text message away, feline girls, and the Hallmark Channel, which I stream on something called Frndly, much to my boys’ horror.   Tomorrow is another day.  And I want my son back. 

I chose a demure, matte lavender for my first post winter pedi.  OK, I know, I know.  It’s still technically winter, complete with an inexplicably plunging temperature.  But, with no hope of snow on the horizon and February almost a memory, winter is, in effect, done.   Enough of these dreary, cold days where the only precipitation isn’t white and fluffy.

To me, this lavender, straight from the Lenten palette, represented the color of crocuses on the verge of their debut.  This lavender, which will appear in my yard, did not make its way onto my toes, however and it was not exactly the fault of the lovely woman wielding the tiny paintbrush, either!    

It had been a long day of calculating the volume of cubes and discussing the once important plan of so many to discover the Northwest Passage.  As the massage chair at the nail salon pounded the tension from me, I reached for book instead of phone. 

My page turner is The Nanny by Gilly Macmillan.  Single mom, Jo returns to her childhood home, a grand, English estate, with her 10 year old daughter, Ruby.  Still in residence is her mother, the parent Jo never preferred.  In fact, as a child, Jo and her nanny, Hannah, were inseparable… right up until the beloved caretaker abruptly left one night when Jo was 7 years old. 

With Jo back, many interesting events begin to unfold, not the least of which is the discovery of a human skull.   As clues and truths emerged, this thriller revealed itself to be exactly my type of book…

And I couldn’t put it down.  By the time I glanced up at the end of a chapter, every nail on my left foot was shimmering a lustrous royal blue.  I gasped, and the woman being kneaded like dough in the chair next to me peeked over her copy of Little Fires Everywhere.  We realized at once that her color was on my toes!  Somewhat surprised, I gazed longingly at the lavender bottle, but then laughed and exclaimed ( with crossed fingers) that I liked it!  The Little Fires reader gushed over the hue, thrilled that I previewed it for her, and excited that it would soon be hers. 

That’s the way it goes sometimes.  My toes are blue, but it’s almost spring for real, and life is good. I recommend The Nanny, and I also recommend looking up now and then when you’re getting a pedicure…         

About six years ago, I brought my much younger sons to this fun memory maker at Wagner Farm Arboretum. Over thirty-six years ago, I visited this location on my nursery school field trip to see where milk comes from and fawn over newborn calves. The cows and the milk are long gone, but the property is still familiar to me and a source of fun, particularly in the approach to Halloween!

It’s been a difficult week for me as a single mom. (When 2019 is posted, you’ll see why.) But it’s part of my job to keep myself mentally healthy and to keep your spirits up too, single parents. When I finally wrapped my brain around my calendar this week, I was happy to see Brite Nites penciled in for Friday night. Make that inked in because I was going as a volunteer this year, with a friend in tow!

I think it must have been the coldest, fall night so far, of course. Out of practice with bundling, I only grabbed my third warmest jacket on my way out the door. The hat I chose as a fashion statement ended up saving me as I worked for hours…as a Pumpkin Path Guide!

The event was magical. “Oohs and aahs” filled the air as guests entered the path and caught their initial glimpses of the first of over one thousand hand carved pumpkins, glowing in the darkness from their hay bale perches. I reveled in the Halloween spirit from my position under a canopy of twinkling orange lights and crystals. Gently reminding toddlers and the occasional dad to refrain from touching the pumpkins was my primary duty. Ahh, if only I could be a year round professional Pumpkin Path Guide..

People of all ages entered the spacious path in a steady stream, including bundled babies velcroed to their parents, kiddos from toddler to teen, picture snapping grandparents, boisterous friend groups, and couples who creatively wove a stop at Brite Nites into date night!

At the end of the night, I enjoyed the path one final, sparkling time, collecting my half frozen friend along the way. If you’re reading this in October, there’s still time for you to travel the path at Brite Nites...

You might be wondering where I picked up two extra kids, in North Carolina, no less. They belong to Bianca and Skippy and are my niece and nephew! You can imagine that acquiring a girl child, if only for a day, is a nice addition to my usual pack of boys. Today’s pack ranged in age from 10 to 20 years, and the US National Whitewater Center was absolutely the perfect destination for this sunny, hot, Carolina day.

This is a winner as far as activities go and requires a full day to maximize your admission if you don’t have a season pass. It was personally my third trip here, and this is how I like to go about things. As soon as I pay, I sign up for the soonest white water trip. Today, I reserved spots for the six of us on the first family rafting trip available.

We filled the time until our first launch with the very cool Deep Water Solo, which involves scaling a climbing wall sans ropes. When you reach your maximum height, you let go, push out, and plummet… into a gorgeous and appropriately deep pool! The first time I attempted Deep Water Solo, I clung to the wall, slipping into the pool before my big toe located the next foot hold. That was, believe it or not, my victory climb, as my subsequent attempts to even enter the wall failed due to “slippery hands”. I promise it was me and not the wall, as other members of my group made it quite high. Difficult- yes. 100% fun and memorable- yes.

Next, we grabbed a reasonably priced lunch at The Market. The boys had the chicken fingers, us girls, the BBQ pulled pork. Don’t ask me why we needed the pimento cheese spread, but it ended up in our order and was devoured along with every other scrap of food. They have quite a nice sit down option at the Center, too…but eh, not today for this mom, 5 kids, and a quickly approaching whitewater trip.

The rafting is my favorite activity, here. After a safety talk, our group suited up, was checked, and boarded one raft, with a fun guide named Caelan. The path the rafts take is manmade and your trip is as wild as you and your guide would like it to be. After a loop filled with rocks, eddies, and rapids, a conveyor belt takes your raft up to the top…where you do it all again…and again! Yes, people fly and rafts flip, but I honestly felt so safe the entire time.

As the day progressed, other rafting trips opened up. I booked my boys on a later Adventure Rafting trip where they took it up a notch, while my niece and nephew and I opted for another family trip. We all arrived back around the same time after these second, amazing adventures. Four of us headed for ultra cool zip lining and two of us, myself included, gave flatwater kayaking and stand up paddleboarding a go. The water might have been “flat” but the current was too strong for this weary mom. I started on my feet on the board, juggling my phone and water bottle, as I dug in. I was cruising along with long strokes…until I glanced up and noticed I was at the starting point. My grand efforts had kept me exactly even with the dock. Even as I groaned and missed a stroke or two, I lost ground.

The zip lining group rejoined us after 7PM. Exhausted and happy, we left the park knowing that a delicious Chinese dinner would arrive right before us at Bianca and Skippy’s house.

So many other experiences are available at the US National Whitewater Center. This post covers just a bit of the fun. It’s truly a great place. More importantly, it’s a doable place for a single parent with a bunch of kids. Confidently make it your destination single parents of ten and ups!

This single mom made it down to North Carolina- with every boy! It’s nice to break free of our hometown on occasion. With boys in tow, this short trip was destined to be lots of fun and somewhat chaotic. Our NC home base was with family, but we pursued adventure by day!

This will be a short post and not because this destination isn’t totally fun (but because my arms were too full to take pics, lol). Carowinds is the sister park of Dorney. Lots of rides are the same, but I believe the coasters are different. In any case, I was never at this park before today, and the boys and I had season passes to Dorney many years ago, now.

As you’ve probably gathered, this single mom is a fan of peace and tranquility. On the other hand, I like to get my money’s worth out of an admission and don’t want to miss out on anything a destination has to offer.

So… that meant my hands really were pretty full. I carried the swim suits, the towels, and the sunscreen that nobody wanted to use. Our single refillable and collectible soda cup swung from my wrist. At this park, both land and water options abound. I held the money and millions of dollars worth of Apple products as boys split off to experience one roller coaster or another.

A note about the coasters….It is my theory that you are either pretty much born to ride…or not. I have never been able to even bring myself to attempt one. My high school friends forced me up to the platform on a school trip to Great Adventure in the 80’s, but I stepped right through the car and descended the stairs after what I still consider a brave escape. After all, I stood up to peer pressure and saved my friends from a guaranteed shower of vomit to boot. My maneuver wasn’t cowardly, because I truly believe that not everyone is suited to ride the hellish hills. Here is my evidence. I have three boys who were, more or less, raised the same. Two will ride and one will not.

The water park was common ground. My eldest settled on a lounge while the brothers and I tubed through pitch black tubes, slid down a gentle, yet winding slide, and spent a surprising amount of energy navigating the wave pool.

Fury 325 was so much fun for my two riders. They tried it at the front end of our time at the park, and it was the final ride for one brave (crazy?) boy. In fact, on his final trip, his brothers and I stood on the bridge outside the park entrance and got some great shots as our guy plummeted right beneath our feet.

Today was not especially relaxing (well, there was that moment of lazy river bliss) BUT a very fun day for older boys and their single mom!

And why not? It’s the ideal place for kids and parents to spend a hot summer day. I don’t mind posting again and again from this amazing spot on the planet because every time I’m here I see something new.

This time I set up my sun shelter by myself. As the boys tore toward the water after a cursory spritz of sunscreen, I took my time with assembly, absorbing some vitamin D before I holed up with my latest novel.

I read the first sixteen chapters of Sally Hepworth’s The Family Next Door under my tent today. Without writing a full review here, I think it’s obvious that it was hard for me to put down! It’s my type of book, secrets and intrigue unfolding in a suburban bubble.

When I began broiling inside the sun shelter, which does sort of resemble a pizza oven come to think of it, it was water time. Instead of joining the masses of 18 and unders, I again opted for a trip beyond the confines of the AquaPark. This time I paddled toward the cliffs, hoping my phone wouldn’t take a splash as I captured their beauty.

After some time on the water, I made my way back to the shelter, happy that my Fitbit was registering each and every stroke. The boys were still out in the park. With giant inflatable slides, trampolines, a planet, and much more to experience… single parents, you will have hours to relax. The best part is that there will be enough distance between your spot on the hill and your kids in the water that they won’t be able to ask you for something (food, money, money for food) every few minutes.

Speaking of food, this Weight Watcher’s newbie was hungry by then, and the snack shack did not disappoint. I found an amazing garden salad on the menu, containing a variety of fresh vegetables… at this same location that cranks out burgers and pepperoni pizzas all day long.

Thank you, Dutch Springs for another memorable day. Thank you also for being the perfect teenage boy destination!

Cats are a smart pet choice for single parents. They are low maintenance, excellent company, and, as I will prove with photo evidence, so very helpful. A cat will make a house a home and bring hours of joy and entertainment to its adult and child inhabitants.

Typical cat care: When there is just one of you (read: you don’t have an adult partner in house), a healthy cat requires very little day to day. Two scoops of dry food, fresh water, a clean litter box, and some love are a kitty’s only needs.

Baddie care: Baddie ate only dry food until her grandma got a free sample of wet from the grocery store. Baddie’s addiction was born instantly. It was the free chicken dinner that wasn’t really free. Just like Baddie was the free kitten who so wasn’t.

My Baddie’s water dish is a fancy, granite work of museum quality art. If not for this classy set up, she wouldn’t hesitate to spill her water all over the floor….daily.

Baddie’s “litter system” is state of the art and a bit more expensive than more traditional boxes. It was necessary and so, so worth it, though, because of her sandcastle making gift. Her hobby required her to relocate all of the litter from box to bathroom floor. She was quite devoted to her craft. I apologize for suppressing her creativity, and I know how selfish this sounds, but a pellet system works better for me…

Typical cat company: They go where they please and sit where they want. They only go outside if you want them to. It’s safer to keep your cat indoors if you can. Sometimes you get one that demands attention and your lap. Maybe you end up with more of a regal, aloof creature. Whatever personality, that fur ball becomes a presence in your house. Kids are with your ex? You’re not alone when you you’re lucky enough to share your home with love on paws.

Baddie as a companion: She needs to go out every day for many hours or goes out of her mind, as in swinging from the curtains berserk. While not a lap cat, she very frequently sleeps on my head, virtually eliminating me from the list of top ten North Jersey Bachelorettes. She loves nothing more than snoozing pressed up against me under a blanket. But if you poke at that blanket, you will lose a digit.

The typical, helpful cat: will stay out of your way. They have their own agenda, which might include ridding your house of rodent pests.

Baddie as helpful: She couldn’t catch the one mouse that infiltrated her Grandma and Grandpa’s house. BUT Baddie makes up for not having the hunting skills she was supposed to inherit in so many ways… She embraces housework, sticking by my side and lending a paw throughout the day. I often insist that she takes a break when I’m mopping the floors or cooking. “You’ve done quite enough, Baddie”, I tell her. What can I say? She has an admirable work ethic!

Tea, sunshine, and time with friends are all mental health boosters. Seek out these small pleasures, single parents. This post is for those of us who end up with long stretches of alone time, due to split custody arrangements.

When the kids leave, yes, it’s your time to catch up on anything, everything, or nothing at all. But it can also feel lonely and too quiet when the loves of your life walk out the door.

As a single parent, it’s important to spend your alone time, well, not too alone…especially when the weather’s fabulous! It’s easy to get bogged down with single parent problems. Lighten your mood and watch your problems not seem as beastly when you put your body in motion, step away from your home appliances, and connect with others.

That brings me to the tea, sunshine, and friends part!

I’ve mentioned my friend, Kat before. She’s a true, dear friend, who could be a distant cousin of Martha Stewart. With my boys out the other day, a load of laundry drying, and a load of dishes washing, I finally made my escape into the sunshine and over to Kat’s house on foot. Her neighbor, also a friend of mine, Lola, popped over, too, right after I arrived. Love that my 8 min walk to Kat’s includes at least two inclines that take me back to my treadmill days!

My green tea was served in an object of art. Sugar, lemon, and cream were elegantly presented. Finger foods temped us. All of this lovliness magically appeared without Kat even knowing that two of her friends were magically appearing!

Lola, who is searching for a job, vented about her day. Kat, another three boy mom, was having a typical day of fun, chaos, boy feeding, and housework. I, the single mom, vented about my entire life! What are friends for? We all laughed as we picked at zero point blueberries, avoided the delicious looking cookies, and admired the gorgeous princess slinking around…

Kat, a nurturer of the soul and body, sent Lola and me away with goody bags filled with home grown prizes from her in-laws garden. A bag of zero points is why this Weight Watchers newbie was excited about this thoughtful gift of health.

Single parents, out you go. There will be plenty of rainy and cold weather in the days and months ahead to hunker down with a book, binge watch The Crown, or paint your bathroom. Embrace the summer weather while it’s here. And remember- my very own studies have shown that tea, sunshine, and friends are all good for you!

Summer, my favorite season is finally here, and the pool is where I want to be! My kids grew up at this gorgeous facility, which also happened to be located in our backyard for the first decade we lived in this small town. Every boy swam (or swims) for the team. Every boy worked (or works) in some capacity here. It’s always been my favorite social spot….my sanctuary.

Now boys don’t want to just come hang out, and we can’t cut through the fence to get here, but these facts of life don’t make me love the pool any less.

I will happily load up the car, and drive 1.5 minutes down the road when I hear a lounge chair calling my name. This object I dream about all winter is long and low, with alternating bands of turquoise and white that have just enough give to allow my body to relax comfortably for hours on end…or until a teenage son wants a meal that isn’t reheated pasta or frozen pizza.

There are so many new families this year that Pippa and I have been ending up near the diving board, where we can hear every curse word muttered by a tween boy and see every child’s flip that turns into a painful back or belly flop. Come to think of it, Pippa and I need to relocate tomorrow to the shallow end.

Because I happen to be on this blogging journey, I can’t afford to spend idle hours away from my laptop, but I can’t bear to be tethered to my couch, either. Working at the pool is the solution to so much in life!

Pippa has been my best pool friend so far this season. Her husband Neville catches up with us after work sometimes, too. Maggie, Liesel, Star and so many others will also become frequent flyers soon.

So here I am behind sunglasses and under a hat and umbrella, attempting to keep the sun spots at bay. Happy pool sounds fill the air. Pippa and I share her drinks and my snacks. What could be better than moving your office to the pool?